We all deal with difficult relationships. When a relationship is strained we need to find the words that bring healing, not strife and more destruction. I find that “I am sorry” are three of the most powerful words we use to restore a relationship. Not “Sorry” but the complete statement “I am sorry.”
If relationships are going to be restored, apologies need to be given and received.
Crafting an apology takes time and thought. The Bible says “Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones… Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing” (Prov 16:24,12:18)
In thinking this through, it is important to focus on feelings instead of issues. With practice, you can become a great wordsmith and reach a stage where your words will be like honeycomb and bring healing and restoration. You will be amazed at how quickly taking ownership over an issue or character defect can melt the heart of the person you offended. Here are a few ways to take responsibility within your apology:
“You are way too valuable to treat like this.”
“I was so wrong to say those things to you.”
“Will you forgive me.”
“It is my fault.”
“This is a character defect in me, and I will ask God to help me with it.”
Communicating words like these to your partner soothes their mind and hasten reconciliation in a case of a dispute. Two wrongs do not make a right.
In order to restore your relationship, you must commit to doing things differently and allow love to grow and issues to heal. Let love, patience and understanding lead the way, and watch your relationship become what you always imagined it to be.
Pastor Mayowa Agboade, Harvesters Ikeja, Lagos, Nigeria.